Just when I thought I was all alone.

As bittersweet as it was to watch my son Cade (my baby) start kindergarten, I couldn’t help but look forward to the freedom that comes with all your children being in school. I nearly squealed out loud at the thought of the entire house to myself for eight whole hours every day!  Eight hours of order. Eight hours of quiet. Eight hours of getting to pick the television channel. Eight hours of not having to prepare food for anyone other than myself. Eight hours of no one else trying to drink my Diet Coke. I could actually go for a walk that didn’t involve carrying someone’s scooter home after five minutes. Maybe I would even start meditating.

Of course not every day is not this serene bliss. There are errands and field trips and volunteer meetings and my “day” job of being an author. But there are days of extended peace and quiet…well at least there were. To my dismay, they are becoming fewer and fewer. That is because my husband has decided now that the kids are in school that he should work out of the house more often. Greaaaaat. Now I can’t leave without him asking where I am going and when I will be back. At noon he comes and stands at my office door and asks what I am having for lunch (the other question — will I make him so of it? — is assumed).  He sets up shop with his computer right at the kitchen island, strewing papers and phones and crap everywhere. He’s constantly on conference calls but he uses an earpiece so if I can’t make eye contact with him, I don’t whether he is on a conference call or not and whether or not it is safe for me to make noise unloading the dishwasher. When I complain about him working in the kitchen, he says, “But I don’t have an office like you do.”

“Yes you do!” I say. “It’s right off Arrowood Road!”

And today I just got the most disturbing news. He’s applied to be a permanent off-site employee. That’s corporate speak for my worst nightmare – he will be here all the time. It’s not that I hate my husband or anything, I just like him a lot better when he’s gone most of the day. Isn’t that the key to a successful marriage? My neighbor’s husband has worked from home for years – I don’t know how she does it. I’d love to hear anyone’s ideas. Maybe I can set him up in an office in our basement. With a separate entrance.

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